Do I resent my time there because it resulted me suffering from this injury? No. In fact, i feel quite the opposite. I'm grateful for my time at the Fullerton as i learnt and gained a lot of corporate and life skills from my short stint. My mentors, they are quite an amazing bunch and i have so much respect for their passion in the work they do. 

What i took away from working there and this injury is, everyone is replaceable and you always take the little things for granted. Now that my leg mobility is subpar, i want to do so many things that i could've done but didn't, when i was perfectly normal. While i was away on MC, people easily took over my job when i thought they will screw it up within the first week. Everyone can and will do what you can do and that made me very unsatisfactory in my career goals as i thought for sure, i was going to head down this corporate comms path. 

I wish to spend my career in something that would help others and make a difference with the work that i do. I haven't exactly thought about what that is yet but i'm positive i will figure it out soon enough. It's funny how the saying "everything happens for a reason" is so accurate and my injury and this time of unemployment happened for a reason. Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps.

I'll keep you updated on my next adventure in the meantime, i'm just going to recuperate my bad leg. 

Shoutout to the Marcomms dept at TFH. Thanks for everything guys! 

There are people out there, up till this date, still do not understand this concept. He's not alone. (Trust me, i would know) 

Feelings: 

I don't know how to react or deal with this break up, because he has been a constant in my inconsistent life and he was the one person whom i thought that wouldn't take my kindness, generosity, muddleheaded-ness, me, for granted.  He was the one that i thought would understand and be on the same page with me when it comes to my problems. I'm not perfect and we all know there's not such thing as a perfect human. But at the very least, i would like to think that, to him, my flaws, my mistakes were perfect imperfections and he would teach me how to counter them one by one. 

I knew we were in different stages of life, but i thought we had it in us to overcome it. However, i forgot that people are always changing and when they change,  priorities change and feelings evolve. 
I'm definitely not the same person as i was five years ago, certain characteristics remained, both good and bad but, i definitely grew and learned a lot over the years, and i believe that i was growing at such a rapid rate to the point where he couldn't keep up. By the time i realised this, it's hard for me to slow down and he was too far behind. I tried slowing down so he could catch up, but time waits for no one. 

I too, know that i am partly to blame for this break up. I definitely have faults. I called to apologised after. He apologised during the break up, but he has said the word "sorry" so many times over the past year that the word now has not much meaning to it. When we say a word, we attribute a meaning to it.  When you disassociate your word from meaning or context, and repeat it merely focusing on the sound of the word, we lose depth of meaning incrementally and it becomes a mere sound. Sadly, "sorry" became a sound to me. 

This whole situation is a tornado hit for me because my life as i know it, is going to change drastically. This past year has been a whirlwind, several problems building up from a storm that i don't want to get into. However, having gone through multiple disasters, I'm somehow ok. Like all problems i've faced, i'll get through it but, the latest hit will take a while to fix. It hasn't sunk in that my life is going through major reconstruction right now, maybe i'm still in shock, and am avoiding it as much as i can. I don't really know, but I know that this set of emotions are very new to me and all i want to do is to run away from it, back to him. Run back to what was once comfortable and familiar to me. 

I want to press call or text, when i see his name appear on my chat list, I want to talk to him about the mundane things happening, i really want to see him again. In general, i just miss him a lot. With so many triggers around me, refraining myself from calling or texting is really really hard. But I'm trying. 

I try to be positive on what has happened and even-though so many problems occurred, i am blessed and am thankful for the positives that has happened this past year.  I have a good set of friends i can rely on, i graduated, found a great internship, travelled a ton, blessed with a new home, my sister etc. I've gained much more than what i've lost. Although the bad things linger on your mind and body for a lot longer than the good things, but it too shall pass. 

I just need to learn how to see the glass half full again.