Myself

23:14

What are you exactly   do you know you? Have you met yourself yet? I for one do not know who I am or what I'm meant be.

People my age have already accomplished so much in life. People I know, people I don't. I'm 18 turning 19 and when I look at my life's resume, it's like a life range target sheet, lots of holes on them because of incomplete tasks in life. My greatest achievement would be living independently without family or friends, literally. I know what I want to be in the future but I don't know how or where to start it’s like I need a life coach for my own life. I actually need someone to tell me what I should be doing with my life.

However, I don't want that, I want to know what I want or should do in life. I don't know what I want now but what I do know what I'm hoping for in the future. Looking at it, there's a huge gap from where I am now and the "future me". No stepping-stones, just empty spaces. How am I supposed to move from here to there without falling?

I want to find myself I want to know myself. What I am now is a morph of the mold society deem me to be and then, myself. I want to step away from that mold to look, understand and see myself.

Who is Apple Tay? Do you know me? Do you know why I'm always disappearing in people's life? Do you know why I can't maintain a normal relationship with people? Do you know what I like and don't? Cause I don't. I want to know my flaws, my strength, and of course, my-self.


I need to know myself if I ever want to move in life.


Here's a poem I call: "Fading"

All I do is waste each day away, no life, no adventure just living. 
An image of the separate life, I hold on to. 
A memory of the cushion life, I'm clinging to.
The sombre chords of a song, is playing
The life I have, in front of me is fading.
- Apple Tay 






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